It was a quieter sort of day.
Today, I decided to try to tend to the front garden. It gets attention twice a year, whether it needs it or not. While pulling weeds, I flashed back to sitting in the grass as a kid with my mom, sisters, and neighbour. We would just sit in the front yard and talk while we pulled out the clover. I remember learning that clover winds it's way through the grass with an intricate network of stems and that it was like a puzzle, tracing those stems back to the source.
Suddenly, it was all about the clover. Tracking the stems, and working back to the centre hub. The teenager came outside to offer help and quickly found his way down to the ground as well, learning clover removal techniques.
As we sat there, following the labyrinth, we talked. We talked about all those things that parents and kids should talk about. We talked about school, friends, girls and his plans for life.
He is growing so fast, and in his mind, he is ready to be grown. His dad and I find ourselves struggling with the balancing act that is allowing freedom, while still ensuring that he doesn't try to fast forward through childhood.
We are children for such a short time, and adults for so long.
Smiling, I told her that, "It's not the clover that matters."
Today, it was time spent with my little man that measured my success.
The front yard will just have to wait it's turn.
How is that tall, young MAN, the little boy I still have attached to his name in my mind? Then I turn at look at the young woman sitting next to me and realize it's okay because even though I have to navigate the same labyrinth and balancing act from the other gender, deep down both of them will always be the little person I see in my head when I say their names. That said, the balancing act of growing up requires that I superimpose that image with the young, wannabe adult in front of me. It is so hard at that point to not pull a Peter Pan and refuse to grow up (myself) in spite of her desire to do so RIGHT! THIS! SECOND! Sadly, I guess, both she and I will both have to navigate the process in a time frame set by someone other than ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI love the clover and I love you too and thank you for the memories and remembering to tale the time you truly are a beautiful sprit with a equally beautiful loving family.
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